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June 2010



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Just forget me, it's that simple.

 I unpacked my suitcase. It's 9 days before I leave and I feel like I can't do this any more. I hate talking to you on Skype and somehow I get the feeling you feel the exact same way. You don't want to talk to me ... You want to sit with your friends, play cards and drink beer with the German girls. All this, of course, while ignoring the 5 or 6 messages I send to you on Skype. Well, it doesn't matter any more. I told you I wanted to talk to you and you ignored me, so it called for desperate measures ...
I took every single piece of goddam clothing out of that red suitcase and put it back in my cupboard. I shoved my bag of toiletries back in the over stocked bathroom cupboard and in half an hour I'm seeing if I can cancel my ticket based on medical grounds. I'm already sick as hell, but you don't seem to fully understand the gravity of my situation. I've just about flunked out of university this semester so I could fly half way around the world to probably be ignored by you. You just don't get it, do you? I'd do anything for you, but right now I find it hard to feel as though I want to do it - you don't care about me right now. You've got other things to distract you. While you chat up and flirt with all the German girls at the card table, I'll be churning out assignment after assignment after goddam assignment. Relationships require sacrifice. I've sacrificed my health and one my education. So what have you sacrificed for me? Nothing.
So that's why I did it. That's why my suitcase is currently back under the bed in the spare room until when I really need it. Until you really want me. Because right now, I don't feel like you do.